the old corrupt fool
by Daniel Doubtfire
Summary: The fool refers to Dumbledore If anybody learned to know him as a kind, sweet man you are wrong read along and discover the true image of Rumbledore and see he is not what he appears on the outside.
1. Chapter 1 The greater good

The dirty truth Chap. 1

It was a bitter sweet time for the wizarding world The sweet of it was That the feared demented looking Dark lord was gone. The bitter of it was that it cost the lives of James and Lily potter, two highly respected witch and wizard. This haloween evening found the one and only dumbledore pacing in his study room in hogwarts who was thinking about two major things. The more important thought he had was the last date with Grindelwald the previous evening in his jail cell. "I wish I could have opened my playbook a little more with him" he thought out loud. The other thought the least important one was of the baby Harry Potter after losing his parents this evening. "I have to take them to the Durselys so they can abuse him making him easily manipulative" he said laughing evily. Then he was rudely interrupted by a fuming Severus Snape. "You arse hole, you said you would keep them safe you pathetic queer"! "Ah Severus looking quite handsome as always, but I had no control over Peter Pettigrew and his actions, so it's not my fault". dumbledore replied softly. Then he added to an outraged Snape It was all for the greater good Do not worry you will have your part in it as well Oh and by the way would you care for a lemon drop"? Dumbledore added. So severus if you mind I will be going to Potter manor to pick harry up to go to His loving aunt and Uncle being as hagris is very busy. "No they are not loving there cruel and worthless he will be going some where else" snape shouted. "Sorry Severus The protection wards are at the dursleys so I side with the greater good." dumbledore replied with a big smile. Snape the passed out due to a great deal of disgust and anger with dumbledore.

Dumbledore was on his way to the potters home in Godrics hollow to pick up baby harry he stopped at his parents and relatives graves when he got to Ariannas his sister he began to weep when he controlled himself he assured her on her grave thai it was for the greater good that she died. Any way dumbles went inside the potters home and scooped up harry and apparated to the Durselys. Dumbledore threw harry on door step and wrote a note and apparated to a more important place Numengard "I wore my best cloak for you grindelwald" dumblefore replied with a sick grin before apparating. Mean while severus waking up from fainting decided when harry got to an appropriate age he would adopt him before he went to hogwarts and steer him away from dumbledore from now harry would have to manage.


	2. cream cheese

Chapter 2

10 years later harry awoke to the regular abuse of being punched kicked and being held down so dudley could do wrestling jumps and moves on him. Afterwards he had to cook a zesty five course breakfeast for the dursleys. Afterwards harry had to mow the lawn, weed the garden, clean the house, and all the rest of the chores not to mention rubbing vapor rub on vernon due to his constant breakouts. It was abosolutely ridiculous harry thought and if he said anything he would get 10 lashings with vernons homemade razor strap. When harry went to bed that evening he remembered it was his birthday in a matter of minutes oh well he shrugged as he drifted off to sleep. All of a sudden harry was awoken and the clock said 12:00 thats odd he thought. The sounds he was hearing came from downstairs it ws vernon yelling. NO! there no harry bloody potter here! Who could be looking for me? harry thought. Then he heard a cold oily voice You lie said the voice. I AM NOT LYING YOU MAD MAN! roared vernon. THen harry's eagerness took over as he went to the source of the noise and said "I'm harry" "I thought so" said the mystery man. YOU ARE NOT 20 SLASHES WITH THE RAZOR STRAP YOUNG MAN! thundered veron DON't let me for.. vernon was interrupted by being thrown aside by the mystery man. How did you do that without touchin him harry asked him "Magic". replied the man. Do not worry I'll explain all of that to you later as you have much to know but for now My name is Severus Snape and I advise you to come with me or you wil have more of those snape pointed to a large slash on harry's face. Any wheres better than here harry said. "Ah good" snape said and they were off.

It was a very bad day for dumbledore first he found out that Grindlewald was released from prison. That was not the main problen he had with gellert the main problem was that grindlewald was married to a woman. Absolute madness dumbledore spat slashing his wand blowing up half of numengard. All the time together all of the kisses shared all the times I climaxed and he's married. THen later dumbledore found out by hagrid that harry was not at the durselys anymore. Dumbledore decided he would adress these problems tomorrow and in the meantime enjoyed some nice chamber music and a game of ten pin bowling.


	3. Chapter 3 alien goat

Chapter 3

Dumbledore woke the next morning with just himself immediately remembered the events that happened the previous evening. Why Gellert who found the evidence I thought I got rid of it all! Dumbledore boomed. Then he looked at a picture of harry and his parents and destroyed it. Damn potter! who could have abducted you I must get answers with one last lemon drop he was off.

Dumbledore decided to have a chat with Severus and praying for a miracle he just might land Severus as his companion. So Severus I'm sure you are aware that early this morning potter went missing from Little whinging. Snape almost sneered but controlled himself and replied No while releasing his most powerful occlumic shield. Well now thats out of the way I'll try to win over Severus Dumbles thought to himself. So dumbledore asked severus to fetch him a potion which involved him climbing a ladder in turned exposed his bottom. Snape was getting dumbles the felix felicis potion when dumbledore said quite a collection of potions you got eh! Dumbledore said swatting snapes arse. YOU BLOODY PILE OF GRYFFINDOR DUNG! snape bellowed. Dumbledore quickly apparated not before a tickle of Snapes chin.

Meanwhile harry was having birthday ever actually best day ever. His new father snape had explained all about the wizarding world, and found out he was accepted to hogwarts a wizarding school. Then he had been taken to a heaven on earth place called diagon alley. It had hundreds of stores and businesses all magic related. He already had 2 best friends one was Draco Malfoy son of Lucius malfoy a highly respected ministry official. The other was tracey davis which everyone knows her aunt Susan Davis a muscular, inked out, notorious, ruthless, and nontolerant minister of magic for the tiny country of Montenegro. This was quite the transformation for harry the other day he was being cracked with a razorstrap.

Snape worked tirelessly trying to prevent dumbledore from knowing he had Harry. Also in the contrast tried to prevent dumbledores plans, for instance dumbledore was going to try to set harry up to marry a girl named ginny daughter of a poor family who loved muggles. Snape counteracted that plan by making amarriage contract between harry and tracey being how they were best friends. Thats what he did that day as he went to gringotts.

After letting harry and his friends explore both knockturn and diagon alley snape decided that they come along to buy all of their school supplies. After a stop of gringotts to load on money Harry and everybody went to Ollivanders to get wands. Harry tested the wands first. First he tried a holly and phoneix wand and it started acting out of control. Harry couldn't help but wonder why ollivander had a devastated look on his face. Eventually harry would get a 11" rare cherry wood and dragon heartstring wand. Draco landed the holly and phoneix and tracey a elm and dragon heartstring wand. At the pet store all 3 picked up a dog and an owl due to new rules at hogwarts. They went shopping for a couple hours later.

That evening snape decided he would tell harry and tracey about the berothal contract between harry and tracey being how she was spending the night. Snape was surprised that they took the news well. Now he would try to prevent the weasleys set up at the trainstation the next morning


	4. white beard

It was the day to got to Hogwarts and harry couldn't wait he was going to ride the Hogwarts express even though his "father" was a teacher he would still ride it to avoid suspicion. Snape told harry that the Malfoys will take him to the train station and added before a hug was to get on the train early to avoid the weasleys.

Moments later found Harry, Draco and his parents at platform nine and three quarters, there he met tracey and Now the new Ancient runes professor Susan Davis.

Meanwhile Molly Weasely was screaming" PLATFORM 9 3\4 QUARTERS THIS WAY"! "Where Is that bloody future income for Ginny at"! she finished with annoyance By now 3 of her kids Fred, George, and Percy got so annoyed that they got on the train without saying bye to their mother. While the other 2 Ronald, and Ginny were looking around the station concerned that Dumbledore's plan might fail. "Maybe he knew how to get on somehow" Ronald replied "NONSENSE"! Molly replied with her wand raised. I"LL FIND YOU POTTER! Molly screamed once more. Susan Davis who was undercover and knew this was coming came out picked up Molly and slammed her. Then she bound her in ropes and turned her over to the aurors.

Dumbledore was having a great day he was able to dose Argus Filch with enough love potions that it became permanent. Caretaker Filch was now his permanent companion. Dumbledore spent hours with filch in his bedroom doing minutes and minutes French kissing and a hour in the bed exploring each other It was wonderful. " Dumbledore was sad when filch said he had to do his duties as caretaker but he would be back tonight which got dumbles extatic. Dumbledores good day when he looked at a report coming from kings cross saying that molly was arrested for threatening An 11 year old by the name of HARRY POTTER! Dumbledore read the last part aloud. "Damn what do I do now"! Dumbledore screamed. knock Knock was heard outside dumbledores door Ahhhhhhhhhh Filch your here" Dumbledore said dreamily and they walked hand in hand amd mouth to mouth to the bed.


	5. Chapter 5

Several hours in the train ride the treat trolley made a stop out of harry tracey and malfoys compartment, They bought the whole lot. They were all trading cards from the choclate frogs. "Who do you have harry"? Draco asked. "YUCK!, I got dumbledore, speaking of him father said I need to pretend I like him and play into his games to avoid suspicion" Harry said with dissappointment. "Poor dolt that means you have to go to Gryffindor huh" said Draco with worry. "I don't have to put those disgraceful colors on ". said Harry once again. They had a good train ride until a kid by the name of Ron came in and upon seeing Harry he said: "Harry I see your with Malfoy and Davis don't go making friends with the wrong sort and I can help you there" said Ron extending his hand. Like I would be a friend with someone who's mother was arrested for threatening me" Harry sneered. Ron was about to punch Harry when Susan Davis came in grabbed Ron and twisted Ron's arm until he fell on the ground. In the end the conflict was settled and Ron had his whole left arm broke and a shoulder strain. At Last they were at Hogwarts.

Dumbledore arrived at the Great Hall ready to see Harry sorted into Gryffindor. Snape had told him that harry was a brutal wizards prison in Wales "he should still be easily manipulative" Dumbledore thought with his eyes twinkling out of control.

Harry and his friends were waiting to get sorted when Ron came again this time with his 2 friends by his Side. "So Harry I hope you reconsidered my offer on the train and the apology accepted, by the way on my right is Seamus Finnegan and on my left is Neville Longbottom" Ron said. Harry noticed that Ron was almost holding the hand of the Longbottom kid. "So what do you say future gryffindor friend of mine"? Ron added. "First of all carrot head I will not be going to Gryffindor, but instead I'll be going to Slytherinn where I belong. Second of all I'm not your friend so Piss off" Harry finished. Ron was about to punch him when Mcgonnagal announced the sorting will be starting soon .Several Names were announced including Tracey who went to Slytherin until "Malfoy, Draco" was announced It was even a second before the sorting hat screamed "Slytherin"! A couple of names later the name Potter, Harry was anounced. Harry glanced at Dumbledore and Noticed he was almost standing up and failing horribly to hide his grin off his face. When the hat was placed on Harry it started saying he was brave and Harry was starting to get scared that it might say gryffindor but as the hat went on it became pretty clear to Harry in where he was going until finally "Slytherin"! yelled the hat.

Dumbledore who before the name was called was standing on top of his chair fell off once the announcement of Harry's name was made and he began weeping on the ground. Harry was lauging when he saw Dumbledore crying on the ground and so was the ancient runes professor Davis snape just sneered and smirked. When Dumbledore recovered he told the shocked hall that he had a medical problem and that he needed to leave. When he was leaving Madam pomfrey came and surrounded Dumbledore. "Let me take you to the medical wing Head Master" Pomfrey said. "No"! You will sit your arse down or I blast you in to tomorrow! screamed Dumbledore. At this Pomferey ran for her life while dumbledore grabbed Filchs hand. Early booboo". said Filch. "had a problem said dumbledore" leading filch to his quarters.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning Harry and his friends were heading to the Great Hall for breakfeast, when they heard moaning from a near by broom closet. Harry went to investigate and when he did he found the most disgusting, and disturbing thing he ever saw. It was Ron and Neville in a serious snogging session. harry thought the more disturbing part was that Ron had Black lipstick and yellow eye shadow on. Ron who noticed the door was opened and looked up and said in almost a drunken state "eh.. arry best pal... is that you baby"? Harry who was then sicken to the stomach was about to run for it but before he could he was grabbed by Ron, who seemed to come out of his dreamlike-state. "Jealous eh potter, you had you chance to win Neville but being how you rejected my friendship you missed out, but I will be merciful I will accept you as a friend and as a bonus you may have Seamus to be you companion". Ronald said gleefully. "As I said the first time I will not be a friend of a blood traitor"! spat Harry. OH you'll be sorry for bashing me family" Ronald said drawing his wand. Harry who was not scared simply said, "Its my family not me family its my family". STUPEFY! shrieked Ron who was flabbergasted that Harry did wandless magic and easily reflected the curse and hit Ron. "Lets go to breakfeast" said Harry to his shocked friends.

Dumbledore had a good day once he found out that the Greengrass family's daughter Daphne would be a spy for Dumbledore. The deal was settled once Dumbledore offered them much in money coming from Harry's bank account. "Now I can get back to normal" said Dumbledore obviously relieved That project lead the light was back on track

Harry was having an easy but amusing 1st day at Hogwarts. Snape had taught him all there is to know about magic, so therefore it was not a problem. Harry getting his work done quick allowed him to see the amusing sight of Ronald failing to even pronounce a simple charm. The best of it came when potions came with Harry's dad Snape teaching the class. Professor Snape was telling what potions class would be until he saw Ron not paying attention and writing something on parchment. " would you mind sharing to the class what you have wrote, obviously It is very important" said snape coldly. "No"! spat Ron. "Very well I shall then " said snape. "Come any closer and I'll rip it"! hissed Ron. "Accio paper" said snape. Now lets see what this says. "Neville you heat up any room you enter, your the butter of my potatoes, the caramel to my ice cream, most of all your the diamond of my heart." Snape finished reading the letter out loud his nose crinkled in disgust. Ron and Neville now had their heads on the desk due to embarrasment. "Weasely 50 points from Gryffindor for spoiling my appetite and be thankful it isn't more"! boomed Snape.

harry and his friends were now at dinner, but before they could eat Dumbledore stood up to make some announcements. "Being as how I couldn't make announcements yesterday due to some problems" Dumbledore said glaring at Harry. " I will make them now, but don't worry I will speak in English I will make this short by saying the third floor corridor is off limits Harry upon hearing this pretented like he was interested and lifted his head up in enthusiasm which brightened Dumbledores mood. Dumbledore finished by saying "Let the Children eat"!


	7. Chapter 7 The epidemic at Hogwarts

Dinner was getting wrapped up and Dumbledore wished everyone farewell, before announcing to Harry to report to his office. Harry got up and passed by His Father. "Remember the mind blocking charms I taught you, because if he finds out we are in deep trouble." Snape said. "Yes, do not worry he won't find a thing." Harry reassured him.

Several moments later at Dumbledore's office. "So Harry, what made you to persuade the hat to go to Slytherin" Dumbledore said in an aggitated voice, while trying to penitrate Harry's mind. "I did not persuade the hat, but I did want to go to Slytherin, and I'm glad I am" Harry said merrily, while Dumbledore's face reddened in anger, and hastily changed the subject. "On to my next thing" said Dumbledore, once again trying to penetrate the young wizard's mind, but failing horribly. "That's exactly what I'm talking about"! bellowed Dumbledore, "Where did you learn to shield your mind against the best wizard of all time"! Thundered Dumbledore. "Whatever I'll go on to my next thing, Mr Potter". Dumbledore started. "Don't think I didn't see you Knock Mr. Weasley unconscious, that's after you invaded his personal life"! Dumbledore finished. "Actually sir" Harry started before getting cut off by Dumbledore. "Do not argue with me Mister Potter; for I have defeated Grindelwald and can see past your lies! Dumbledore said fiercely, with his wand raised. "For your information headmaster I defeated Voldemort the best wizard of all time". Harry said calmly. "You had cheat codes helping you out and actually I am the greatest wizard of all time"! Thundered Dumbledore Then one last attempt to read Harry's mind, Dumbledore demanded enterance into Harry's mind OPEN THAT MANIPULATIVE MIND TO THE LEADER OF THE LIGHT"! Screamed Dumbledore. After all that noise Filch came down with his pink pajamas on "what's wrong baby"? questioned Filch. "Nothing argi agi just the Potter brat intruding, oh and before I forget,said Dumbledore conjuring up a bed for him and Filch "Out"! said Dumbledore beginning to take off his cloak. Harry ran out as soon as he did he could hear moaning and thumping coming from Dumbledore's office. Harry sprinted as fast as he could to the Slytherin common room.

Percy Weasely was relieved that the weekend was here, all week he was starting to get troubled about rumors that his brother Rom and his friend Neville Longbottom were dating, and were found in nowhere else, but the broom closet. "That certainly can not be true, I mean Ron friends with boys, but none of my brothers are gay"! he thought to himself. Percy was heading to the Gryffindor common room before some sounds caught his attention coming from a nearby broom closet. As a prefect it was one of his jobs to get couples out of broom closets, even if it is the weekend, so he went to do his job. When he did he nearly feinted he saw his brother Ron with Neville making out like there was no tomorrow, and Ron had Green Lipstick and had red eye shadow on. "No no this, this , this can't be, my brother is not gay, oh no no". Percy was muttering until Ron looked up."Ah!, Big Brother bring your date and Join us said Ron with a grin. "You are no brother of Mine"!, said Percy running as far as he could from that broom closet, until he seeked refuge in an abandoned classroom, so he thought. Percy waited to catch his breath and process what he just saw, but before he could, he heard more of those all to familiar moans coming from the same classroom he was in. When he looked he saw the familiar scene of 2 men kissing and mating in plain view and when he saw hte two men's faces he blurted there names out do to shock. IT'S DUMBLEDORE AND FILCH!. Dumbledore looked up after hearing the ear deafening scream. "Ah Percy care to join in, for we can play spin the bottle"! Dumbledore said excitedly while Filch was literally jumping up and down at the idea. THERE EVERYWHERE! Percy shouted running out of the classroom as fast as he could to where Percy did not know, Just hopefully to a place where there were no men kissing eachother. "That's a pity" said Dumbledore sadly before returning to his services with Filch.


	8. Peril in the walls

Minerva Mcgonnagal, the head of Gryffindor house was having a confusing day, first about the rumors about Ron and Neville, that would certainly damage the house's reputation. The second of it all was that the previous evening she heard Percy running around the school saying stuff like, "There Everywhere"!, and "Put me out of my misery before the school get's taken over"! When she tried to talk to the prefect he would be unresponsive and pretend like he was asleep when ever she approached him. That night she heard some noise in the Gryffindor common room after all the students went to bed. "Fred and George" she was muttering as she approached the enterance of the common room ,and when she entered she had the shock of her life. In front of her showed Ron and Neville snuggling each other on one of the couches, obviously they were planning on spending the night there. "Oh sweet heavens." was all Mcgonnagal said before collapsing in a heap.

The next day Ron and Neville decided they would not hide their relationship anymore. Ron, thinking it would gain him his much needed attention, decided that he and Neville go into the great hall holding hands and watch the hall erupt with praises. "What are we waiting for", said an eager Ron. "Lets make history" said Neville. After a 20 second frencher they were off to Breakfeast.

Harry was a little stressed out by the previous meeting with Dumbledore. "I don't think he found out anything", Harry tried to reassure himself, but he just was not sure. After all Dumbledore was a half-decent wizard. But After he saw his father Snape still employed at Hogwarts, his worries went away for the moment. After that was cleared out he decided he would go to breakfeast he never wished he went to with his friends.

Harry was just loading his plate when the pandomonium broke out. It started out with comments like, "UGh" and "That's sick". As soon as Harry turned his head he saw what they were looking at. It was Ronald and Neville Holding hands, and standing on top of the Gryffindor. Both Of the young Gryffindors looked confused that they were not getting the attention that they desperately desired. Everyone was fleeing the great hall. Only Dumbledore and Filch were clapping. Dumbledore was wiping a tear from his eyes, but in turn was becoming increasingly annoyed about the negative response the two role models were getting. Dumbledore took matters in his own hands and canceled all classes for the day and instead had an assembly in the Great Hall.

Harry was Furious that all classes were canceled because of the Muggle loving fool Dumbledore. "Must be pretty important for all classes to be cancelled." stated Tracey as they were getting seated. Harry was about to respond but Dumbledore began his speech. "Good Morning children", Dumbledore began, I am appalled by your negativity towards two of Hogwarts Role-model students. What do you have against gay people Huh"! He bellowed I have called you here to tell you that if you are caught being mean to Neville and or Ron", Dumbledore paused to Glare at Harry "They will be punished severely and not allowed dinner for a month. The whole hall erupted"Silence"! screamed Dumbledore, "Do not argue with me, for I am the greatest wizard of all-time, and as an added bonus everyone will have to wright a 6 foot long essay about the positivity of homosexuals.

Dumbledore went to bed with Filch feeling victorious. But the next morning that quickly changed when Dumbledore discovered that Over half of the students got pulled out of Hogwarts overnight. "NO"! was all Dumbledore said


	9. Chapter 9 The shocking news

Dumbledore had to look at the positive of the situation that was unfolding rapidly. He still had all of his student followers/ spies present at Hogwarts. They were: Ron Weasely, Neville Longbottom, Daphne Greengrass, Milicent Bulstrode, Seamus Finnegan, Dean Thomas, Pansy Parkinson, and of course Argus Filch. "Who gives a rats ass about the other students when I got my 8 member CSI crew" Dumbledore thought with a big grin on his face.

Harry, along with all of his Slytherin friends were up almost all night completing Dumbledores essay, he assigned everybody. Dumbledore would be waiting to collect them at the great Hall first thing in the morning. "I wish I was out of Hogwarts and into a real school like Durmstrang" Harry sighed. "Agreed" Tracey and, Draco said simultaniously. Several moments later: "Done" said Harry. "That means I get 47 minutes to sleep" said Harry looking at the clock. "Lucky you, I won't get any" Draco said with a hint of frustration. "Same here" Tracey chimed in leaning on Harry.

Moments later Harry and his friends were walking to breakfeast with their essays in their hands when they saw Ron, and Neville were parading like heroes, heading to the great hall. Ron glanced at Harry who was holding Tracey's hand and gave Harry a Disapproving look before giving Neville a piggy back ride to the Great Hall. When Harry and his crew got to the enterance they were greeted by the unwelcome sight of Dumbledore "Alas chillens did you learn your lessons" Dumbledore said with a stern look in his eye. Harry, Draco, and Tracey just ignored the aging wizard mainly trying not to get their minds read. This angered Dumbledore. "Think your Hot shit eh, ignoring the Greatest wizard of all time Potter! Dumbledore Spat venemously", which raised some hairs on Harry's Neck. "Just remember I'm watching you in one way or another." Dumbledore concluded.

After a day of boring lessons, even potions was boring now, because Snape was not allowed to be mean to Ron or Neville, thanks to Dumbledore. Harry ate an unusually tasteless dinner. Harry headed to the Slytherin common room to study. "I'm glad its Friday, Harry sighed sitting on one of the common room couches to study. Shortly after he started to study he felt someone sit beside him. He looked up and saw a face he didn't really see much of he knew her to be by the name of Daphne Greengrass. Immediately Harry was starting to feel uncomfortable, because Daphne definitely was not a pretty girl. She was very ugly and overweight. Harry quickly scanned her mind and found that she was working for Dumbledore. With that Harry decided to play along. "So Harry tell me how its like to live with Snape" Daphne said in her manly voice that immitated Milicent's "You mean how its like living by myself at the wizarding orphanage?" Harry began, "Well its pretty bad, you get beat all the time,and"Harry said before getting interrupted by Daphne. "You lie your being raised by Snape." "Do you know that for sure or is that what Dumbledore said" Harry replied with a evil grin. Daphne looked shocked and began stuttering "Ho, how DDD Do you KNN Know that" Daphne said nervously. Amazing what a weak mind can reveal to me" Harry said pleasantly. At that Daphne tore out of the Slytherin common room to Dumbledore's office."Now let me study, please!" Harry exclaimed.

Dumbledore was in his office grooming his beard in front of his mirror, impatiently waiting for Filch, when his door burst open. "AH! Filch your here!" Dumbledore said with a big smile. That Smile turned into a confused look When he saw it wasn't Filch. "Ms Greengrass what brings you here, Oh! I forgot did you get Potter to reveal his secrets! Dumbledore squealed, sounding like a small boy. "No!" screamed Daphne. "Then why are you here, Dumbledore said grabbing Daphne's hair preparing to march her out of the office. "Let me go and I will explain!" Daphne shrieked in pain. "Well it better be good, because I'm expecting Filch any moment now"! Dumbledore boomed. "Well you see", Daphne started. "Potter knew you sent me, he read my mind, and found everything when he did" Daphne replied with fear as she saw Dumbledore light up like the 4th of July. "Oh yeah he's definitely been raised by Severus!" Dumbledore exclaimed. "Daphne go get the rest of the members of the group and bring them to my office". Dumbledore commanded. Just then Filch came in " Sorry Argus I'm afraid I'll have to delay bedtime, as all of have an emergency meeting, Dumbledore said to a devestated looking Filch.

Moments later all 8 of Dumbledores members were in front of him actually 7 were while Filch was on Dumbledores arm. This weekend I plan a full out assault against Harry Potter, and his best friends, hoping to catch him tell his secrets" Dumbledore said "My plan consists of one of you 7 students to be at each of the floors of this school while Filch does not have to go under cover because he is our caretaker". Dumbledore said beaming at Filch. "Well that is all now flee before me! Dumbledore said Shooing them away. Dumbledore was about to crawl in bed with Filch when there was a knock at his door. "NOW WHAT DO THEY WANT"! Dumbledore boomed. Dumbledore opened the door and was surprised by the sight of a furious looking Molly Weasely. "Mrs. Weasely can't it wait til morning" Dumbledore said motioning towards his bed. " I'm afraid not Albus, you see Arthur filed for a divorse. Dumbledore collapsed to the ground upon hearing this shocking information. Holy Lemondrop. was all Dumbledore could say


	10. Chapter 10

"Oh Shit"!, said Dumbledore when he came back to the life. "I will have a chat with old Arthur Dumbledore said murderously. What Dumbledore did not know was that he was being spied on by a pair of naughty twins by the name of Fred and George Weasely.

"We have to alert Harry"! George told Fred. "We could do that, but I have a better idea"Said Fred with a grin. "Ok what is it Fred"! George chimed. "This." said George pulling a piece of parchment from his pocket. "The Maurder's map"! said George in aw. "Yes, and this way Harry knows where Dumbles' spies are at all times" Fred finished with a evil grin as he imagined Dumbledore's face when his plan backfired.

Meanwhile.. at the burrow Arthur Weasely, now ex-husband of Molly Weasely was packing his stuff, preparing to get out of this dump he had been living in for all these years. As he was doing this Dumbledore and Molly apparated through the fire place. Dumbledore approached Arthur with a death glare. "Where do you think your going buddy boy"! Dumbledore spat "Away from this thing I never should have married, and I know you knew she used love potions to get me to marry her old corrupt man." Molly grabbed a kitchen knife and began to charge at Arthur, before Dumbledore stopped them. "No no Molly we need 2 stable Figures to raise Ronald and Ginny in the world of the greater good." Dumbledore replied to Molly with his eyes twinkling haywire. "Why just Ron and Ginny", Arthur started "What about all of the rest of the kids, the ones who haven't been influenced by your games old man! Arthur replied with a fuming anger. "If you can excuse me I will be going". said Arthur in a hurry to leave. "Wake up Arthur"!, Dumbledore started. "Yes Molly did make mistakes, and you did to, for we are all human". Dumbledore paused before speaking again "Despite molly's mountain of faults, dear Arthur I always say a flawed wife is better than none at all." Dumbledore replied with a fake sympathy. "Well what you know about wives Albus, unless you cut off your boy friends manhood's, Oh and I bet your the reason that Ron is Gay!." Arthur Screamed. This caused Dumbledore to reach for his wand, but before he could, Arthur called out. "Billy!" Immediately a house elf showed up , and Arthur said "take me away". "Right master"! the elf croaked before apparating away with Arthur. "I didn't he had an elf, that could of been dinner! Molly screached. While a shocked Dumbledore was left saying "Strip me naked, and paint me blue." before feinting on the ground.

Harry was walking to his common room, when he was approached by two twins he knew by Fred and George. "Hi Fred and George, what is it"? said a puzzled Harry. "We come here to offer you advise". Said George merrily. "Ok, what is it". said Harry still confused. "You know that Dumbledore has 7 students spying on you, he has 1 stationed to each of Hogwarts floors. He will have them eavesdrop on your conversation, so he knows your secrets." Fred finished. "Well thank you guys for warning me I will be alert from now on because of this Muggle loving Idiot. said Harry who was beginning to leave, before being stopped by Fred and George "No, no don't leave Harry we have something to give you" They both said together. "What"? said Harry. "This". said Fred "The Maurders Map" Fred added showing Harry a piece of parchment paper. "What does it do"? said Harry eagerly. "Watch this". said George. "I solemly swear that I'm up to no good". George spoke. In front of Harry the Parchment opened up showing multiple names. Then Harry realized this is a map of Hogwarts." This shows the whole school". Said Harry excitedly. "Indeed" said the twins simultaniously.

Meanwhile a Proud Ron was parading around the castle,after his work with Dumbledore, Dumbledore had put him on the Gryffindor Quddich team as a starting seeker. Also Ron got a new Nimbus 2000. "Wait til Potter sees this." Ron said while flashing his broom in peoples faces.

Harry decided he would have fun with his new map the next day. He went to the third floor where One of Dumbledore's giants were at. "You don't hide well Daphne I think you need to lay off the kidney pie". Harry said teasingly. Just then Daphne came crashing down by Harry she got up and tried to physically knock him out. "Come here Harry!" she said in her booming voice. Harry easily stunned her. Harry then dropped her off at Dumbledore's office with a note saying "I don't miss a trick old Man"! When Dumbledore discovered this later he immediately collapsed.


	11. Chapter 11

Arthur Weasely found him self a small place to stat in downtown London. This way he could be close to work. Lucius Malfoy came over and congradulated Arthur for finally divorcing the hag he had been living with. At the divorce hearing Arthur got full custody of Percy,Fred,and George. While Molly got Ronald,and Ginny. Ever sice the divorse Arthur had been living a really good life. He had been tooking out of the useless department of Muggles and now he wasthe assistant to Lucius Malfoy at the Ministry of Magic. He a small clean place to live in. All was well. Molly Weasely however was not living the same life.

Molly Weasely was not a Happy individual. Her lover Arthur Weasely had found out her secrets, not only that he was hiding an elf. That could of feed us for a week. Stews, Roasts whatever Ronald think! Molly thought to herself. Molly was in deep shit she now had no income at all Arthur was the only income before. "Then she came up with an Idea Somehow she had to Hook Harry up with Ginny and we'll have unlimited Money"! She thought out loud while stirring her famous mud soup. Molly went to bed a happy lady even though in reality the idea had no chance of working.

Dumbledore was having a good day he was able to add more student followers. He added Hannah Abbot, Susan Bones 2 blokes out of Hufflepuff. He added Cho chang out of Raven claw. Right now he was in the middle of trying to get a mudblood Hermoine Granger of Gryffindor to join but she wouldn't budge he thought about the imperius curse , but he wouldn't try it. Just then his 2 giants went past and he got an Idea. "Hey Daphne, Milicent come here"! called Dumbledore. "What is it Master!" they spke in their thundering, manly voices. "Show Granger here it doesn't pay to disrespect the light" Dumbledore said smugly. "Will do Chief!" Daphne said proudly. With that Dumbledore left while his 2 giants went to take care of business.

Harry was walking to his dorm when he heard a girl crying from a nearby room. Harry quickly scanned his map and Found the names: Daphne Greengrass, Milicent Bulstrode, and Hermoine Granger. He quickly grabbed his wand and found out he was joined by his good buddy professor Susan Davis. "What is it Harry"? Susan questioned eagerly. "Its Daphne and Milicent they have a kid hostage"! said Harry urgently. "Those Damn fatties that work for Dumbledork" Susan muttered while drawing her wand. They both sprinted to the classroom to investigate what was going on. "What do you think we should do Big D!" Milicent said jubiantly. "I say we eat her"! Daphne boomed. "Sounds Good" Milicent chimed in. Harry and looked on as Milicent lifted the knocked out girl skirt, and Daphne prepared to feast on her leg. That's when the 2 took action. "Sectusempra!" screamed Harry as the curse hit Daphne right in the leg She was out cold due to the amount of pain. Susan Davis shot a cutting curse at Milicent , which hit her in the arse knocking her out cold as well. Just then Dumbledore came in. "Oh my Kidney Pie what the hell his this!" Dumbledore exclaimed at the bloody mess. "I will have you fired Susan!" Dumbledore started before getting interupted. "Actually headmaster me and Harry prevented Miss Granger here from getting devoured by a couple of Hungry students so you have no right." Susan said calmly. Dumbledore had no choice but to agree.

The next Day Daphne and Milicent were realeased from the medical wing Daphne had a peg leg and Milicent had a half but.

This chapter is not finished!


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